That’s the sound of my fingers drumming on the computer desk as I await my new computer. (Late this week or early next, the Cap’n informs me.) Although I am not posting regularly until I get a computer with, you know, MEMORY and stuff, my brain is not idle. I have news headlines, the upcoming 20th anniversary of a backpacking trip I took after college graduation, a few more books to discuss, and this Shabbat I’m making a modified (i.e. Cap’n-friendly) version of the deliberate cake wreck, The Ruins of the Lord’s Castle (original recipe on my post with dairy Shavuot meal suggestions).
To tide you over until I get back with all that stuff next week, I’ll share a little ditty Banana taught me in honor of her fourth birthday yesterday. Remember the rips on “Jingle Bells” from childhood? “Jingle Bells! Batman smells, Robin laid an egg! Batmobile popped a wheel and Joker got away!” Of course, I remember the one, too, that goes, “Jingle Bells, Santa smells 50 miles away! Oh what fun it is to ride in a beat-up Chevrolet!” This was dear to my heart not only because I didn’t believe in Santa Claus from a pretty early age (so kids never scared me who promised Santa wouldn’t bring me any presents if I sang that song), but because we also owned a beat-up Chevrolet (with no air-conditioning), and boy was it fun riding on Route 10 through the Mojave Desert in THAT car!
Well, Israeli kids aren’t exactly deprived of nasty little songs either. “Happy Birthday” in Hebrew begins “Hayom yom huledet, hayom yom huledet, hayom yom huledet l-[whomever].” Banana’s rip (that she learned in gan) goes, “Hayom yom huledet l’Savta Yocheved! Mah kanu l’matanah? Tachtonim v’gufiah!” (“Today is Grandma Yocheved’s birthday! What did they buy for a present? Underwear and an undershirt!”) Only slightly racy, it earned a smile and a little chuckle from me. Encouraged by this, Banana ventured to share a nastier version: “Hayom yom huledet l’Savta Yocheved! Mah kanu l’matanah? Kos nazelet im g’vinah!” If you speak Hebrew, you’ll know how gross that is. If not, I’ll do you the great favor of not translating it.
Iy”h, back next week.
Shimshonit 
Looking forward to your post about books. Sending you the patience I wouldn’t have if I were computer-deprived.
Have an easy fast tomorrow.
Thank you, Ilana-Davita. It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve managed to keep myself occupied in the interim. As a nursing mother, I am given a heter to ignore the half-fasts. (YK and TB’A are another story.) May your fast be easy.
A cup of sniffles with cheese? I don’t think I’m translating properly, so maybe you can please email me and tell me what kol nazelet im gevinah means?
*kos