When I think of summer movies, I think of things with negligible plots, little substance, but plenty of action. I’m no expert, but I think whoever invents the news has been taking a page out of Hollywood’s book. Just look at the kinds of things that have been going on:
“500 Israeli Academics Demand Right to Boycott Selves,” published July 7. That’s right; despite the notion that professors encouraging boycotts of Israeli universities amounts to shooting themselves in the foot, they claim that their freedom of expression is impinged upon by the Ministry of Education’s attempt to stop them from encouraging such boycotts. It reminds me of the Eric Idle (of Monty Python fame) mockumentary film, “The Rutles,” which poked fun at all the lawsuits filed by the faux Beatles against one another, where each was suing the other three, and one of them (Stig, the Quiet One) sued himself accidentally.
Then there is the story about how “Palestinians Oppose Ending the Occupation.” That’s right. ARE YOU LISTENING, LEFTIES? Here’s the first paragraph of the piece:
Foreign Minister Avigdor Lieberman’s plan to assist the Gaza Strip in becoming an independent entity has encountered wall-to-wall Palestinian opposition. The dual-headed Palestinian regime in Ramallah (Fatah) and in the Gaza Strip (Hamas) totally rejects Lieberman’s proposal to recruit the European Union to build power stations to supply electricity, desalination stations and a sewage treatment plant. This was to be part of a plan that would totally sever all connections with Israel, which would forgo its naval supervision over merchandise entering the port of Gaza and would totally seal the border with the Gaza Strip.
There it is in black and white. For years the Arabs have been posturing as freedom-fighters, crying for a state of their own, and grousing about how Israel won’t let go its stranglehold on Gaza with its control of basic human services. So now, after trucking in thousands of tons of food, toys, and medical equipment every week, after the Turkish flotilla fracas, and all the mean things people said about Israel and the “siege” and “humanitarian crisis” in Gaza, Lieberman has called their bluff and offered to gather the resources necessary to dump them out of their wheelchair of self-pity and make them walk again. And they don’t want it. Their response? That Gaza will still be under Israeli occupation (though how, they decline to elaborate), that it is in direct conflict with the Palestinians’ “desire for unity, liberty, and independence” (would they know any of these things if they bit them on the nose?), and that Gaza and the West Bank would still not be united (though that seems to me more because Hamas and Fatah can’t get along than anything to do with Israel). It’s just too laughable.
And after the Internet blackout I experienced in the last few days, I discovered that the Lebanese Army fired on Israeli soldiers who were removing brush inside the Israeli-Lebanese border. Of course, my buddies over at Reuters (NOT!) reported that UNIFIL knew nothing about the IDF’s plans to be at the border, and the Lebanese Army claims that Israeli soldiers crossed the international border and were fired on after repeated warnings. I have chosen to get my information from a more reliable source: the Muqata blog, which includes videos of the attack and maps of where it took place. Why is this happening? To commemorate the fourth anniversary of the Second Lebanon War? Probably not. To distract the world from the trail of the Rafik Hariri murder investigation (which is ineluctably leading to Hizbullah)? Much more likely. Especially since Nasrallah has now accused Israel of murdering Hariri. The irony of that accusation is delicious, since it is Arab tradition, rather than Israeli, to commit dramatic, violent acts completely against one’s own interests.
And finally, though it hasn’t yet shown up on my Yahoo page, there was supposedly an assassination attempt on Ahmedinejad in the last few hours. According to Lurker, who posted the scoop on the Muqata, a pro-government Iranian website reports that one person was arrested at the scene, but the actual assailant fled. Stauffenberg lives!
I tell you, people. You can’t make up this kind of drama. And people were predicting this would be a dull summer.