Nine years ago I made the complicated, difficult decision to leave my cushy teaching job in order to stay home with my newborn (first) child. There were so many factors that figured into that decision: economics (it was cheaper than working and having all my salary—and then some—go to childcare), my desire to be with my baby (breastfeeding, witnessing her milestones, attachment-style parenting), and the very simply-put observation a friend made to me, that I could go out every day and teach other people’s children while paying someone else to teach my child, or I could stay home and teach my own child.
The decision was not an easy one. First-time parenting was nerve-wracking, worrisome, exhausting, and it took months for my feminist ego to get used to being supported by my husband while being at home. I knew in my heart that I was making a valuable contribution to the family, both financially and parentally, but it was still difficult. Through that long first winter, in my sleep-deprived stupor, I would pray for Beans to wet her cloth diaper to give me something to do to kill five minutes.
I’ve been home for many years now. At various times, I have taken on things that resembled work such as tutoring high school kids in English, and editing a book or divrei Torah for Web publication. But primarily, I have been at home with my children (and busy enough not to wish for extra diaper changes). And with each successive child, I have been able to let go a little more of my own responsibilities, leaving them for an entire day with my husband to attend a funeral in Maine, putting Banana in daycare to attend ulpan, and Bill in same to preserve my sanity and enable me to do errands and home improvement projects (like ripping up carpet or painting a rusting iron fence) during the morning. The children have all adjusted to whatever I threw their way, and I’ve enjoyed the many different phases motherhood has gone through.
And now I’m embarking on yet another new phase. The Cap’n recently started a new job with an Israeli company. By Israeli standards, he’s making a pretty decent salary. By American standards, he’s panhandling at the Kenmore T stop. This means that in order to “clear the housekeeping” I need to look for some work. After considering a few possibilities, I’ve settled on returning to English teaching. Israel’s education system is, if possible, worse than the American one, and the salaries are even lower. The only thing that pays less and has as little prestige is—you guessed it—stay-at-home motherhood. But it’s what I love, it’s what I trained to do (and am still paying off) and it’s the best option to allow me to be at home with my kids in the afternoons and over the summer. I’ll probably have to cover my hair to teach or substitute. (Blah.) I’ll probably need more coursework to get my certification in Israel. (Double blah.) But it will provide steady work, a steady trickle of income, and I think I’ll be a much better teacher now, nine years and four kids later than I was before—mellower, more aware of students’ different learning styles and difficulties, and take myself less seriously.
All I need now is a hat that says LIONTAMER on it…
Shimshonit 
Well, enjoy, and b’hatzlaha!
My mother spent most of her years as a chemist doing what she loved – viz. laboratory grunt work – but at some point, her boss noticed she was a grammar nut, and put her to work editing the FDA’s methods manual. After a few years of this, my mother told me, she finally begged her boss to let her return to laboratory grunt work. She now gets to split her time between editing and working.
As for me, G-d seems to be making me His pawn to demonstrate that when we make plans, He laughs: here.
“I’ll be a much better teacher now, nine years and four kids later than I was before—mellower, more aware of students’ different learning styles and difficulties, and take myself less seriously” – good news for the children, even if hard for you. Good luck.
I was listening to a pediatrician yesterday, complaining in a “how in the world do I deal with this” way about one of her four children not wanting to eat on Yom Kippur (the child is nine). I’m sure she is a better pediatrician now that she has raised 4 kids than when she first started out, even with all her medical school training.
B’hatzlachah on the new phase!
Have you started to look for a job?
What age-group do you have in mind?