A friend and I just spent a totally fruitless morning in Jerusalem dealing with bureaucracy, red tape, and the power needs of drones clerks in the Finance Ministry offices. Upon my return (which was expedited by taking a Hebron bus, getting off a few stops early and walking home along the highway rather than waiting an hour for the next Efrat bus), I have time to post, but no time to write. This is where my Word folder entitled “Friends and Inspiration” comes in handy; it’s my stash of humorous, witty, or otherwise entertaining reading. Someone sent me the following snarky quotations which may incite a giggle here and there. Extra points if you leave a comment identifying whom the comments were made about. (I can identify a few, but not all of them.)
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill
“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” – Winston Churchill
“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb
“I’ve never killed a man, but I’ve read many obituaries with great pleasure.” – Clarence Darrow
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?” – Ernest Hemingway (about Faulkner)
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas
“He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson
“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating
“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr
“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” – Jack E. Leonard
“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” – Abraham Lincoln
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But, this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx
“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.” – Robert Redford
“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.” – Thomas Brackett Reed
“He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.” – James Reston (about Richard Nixon)
“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” – Charles, Count Talleyrand
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde
“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts … for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang
Shimshonit 
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