The Cap’n and I often hear Jews in America say, “Well, I’d really like to make aliyah, BUT…” and after the “but” give lots of reasons. Some of them make sense (elderly parents to care for, well-established careers that it would be impossible to replicate in Israel or to continue remotely or by commuting) but some of them are downright ridiculous. Here is a list of the top 10 dumb excuses people give for not making aliyah:
1. Parnasah. One of the reasons one needs so much money in the US to be Jewish is because a house in the eruv, Jewish day school, Jewish summer camp (if you take advantage), kosher food, shul dues, regular entertaining, and getting hit up for mikvah renovations cost a lot of money. In Israel, one can save around 95% on tuition. Real estate (outside the main population centers of Jerusalem and Tel Aviv) is not nearly as insane as in frum neighborhoods in the US. Camps are cheap and plentiful here. There’s a shul (or two, or fifty) in every neighborhood, and dues are a fraction of what they are in an American shul. Kosher food is available everywhere here, and shopping in a shuk can save a family a lot of money. The government pays for mikva’ot and their maintenance. And guess what? You can AFFORD to have more kids here because of it. Those who live in America and have to make their child-bearing decisions based on their finances would be free here to choose based on what they want and what Hashem gives them.
2. The rabbinate’s treatment of converts. As if the American rabbinical establishment loves converts so much. If certain Batei Din aren’t bad enough in the way they conduct conversions, there have been many American rabbis who have notoriously abused their positions of power with regard to women, children, and converts (including talk of revoking conversions for women who wore pants after conversion—the brazen hussies!). There are mean people everywhere.
3. Hebrew. Duh, you’re Jewish. It’s your JOB to learn Hebrew anyway. Why not use the Holy Tongue everyday rather than just for special occasions?
4. Fear of terrorism. Ahem. September 11, London Tube, Madrid commuter train, Mumbai, Kuala Lumpur,… And no one with the name of Umar who paid cash for a one-way ticket and had a bomb stashed in his underpants would have been allowed on a plane bound either to or from Israel. Period. It is interesting to note that despite all the awful stories that make it out of Israel, life expectancy in Israel is higher than in America.
5. Fear of IDF service. This sticks in lots of people’s craw. But there are a few things to consider. One is that besides gan, this is one of the great social foundations in the life of an Israeli. Boys become men there, friendships are formed, skills learned, all while ensuring every day that Israel continues to exist. Everyone wishes that service in the IDF wasn’t mandatory, but no one can deny its necessity. You may be familiar with the observation credited to Shira Sorko-Ram (in the Maoz Israel newsletter, May 2004), “If the Arabs put down their weapons today there would be no more violence. If the Israelis put down their weapons today there would be no more Israel.” Need I say more? And if someone doesn’t agree with the role the IDF plays in turning settlers out of their homes, there’s nothing like being a fully enfranchised citizen to give weight to one’s opinions.
6. Israel’s hostile neighborhood. True, Israel doesn’t have many friends in the Middle East. Over time, however, that may change. In the meantime, thanks to peace agreements with Egypt and Jordan, there is a bus that departs from central Jerusalem for Cairo every day, and Petra is only two hours from the border crossing at Eilat. In addition, beautiful beach holidays in Cyprus and Turkey are available, Europe is only a time zone or two away, and Israel itself boasts plenty to keep a family busy on the holidays.
7. Expectation of downsizing. Many people don’t like the idea of coming to Israel because it may mean having to live in smaller quarters than they have in America. This is true for some, but certainly not for everyone. We increased our square meterage from what we had in the US when we made aliyah to a rented apartment, and again when we bought a cottage (semi-detached house with garden). Some people want to live in a McMansion, however, and there are a number of neighborhoods with such absurdly large houses here in Israel. Rampant consumerism has gained some traction in Israel for those who wish to adhere to it as a value. But most people find they can do with less, and the upside of that is that cleaning for Shabbat takes less time.
8. No Sunday. When can you go to the mall/make day trips/get together with friends from out of town? I know, this is a tough one. But if a family can be shopped by Wednesday and cooked by Thursday, then Friday (especially in the warmer months) is a great day for that. People usually only work half-days during chol hamo’ed (if they work at all then), and life is short enough that everyone bailing on work and school once in a blue moon could be nice.
9. I already spent a year in Israel. Why should I live there? Because you probably came as a young person and enrolled in one of the many fine programs that allow young people to experience life in Israel in a well-structured, guided, sheltered environment. Those are great, but to ask why you should live here, especially if that program year was a great year for you, is like asking, “I went on a date with this great guy. But why should I marry him?” Because he’s great. Because he is your soulmate. Because Hashem created him just for YOU. And because he loves you more than anyone ever will. How many people can you say THAT about?
And the biggest, all-time dumbest reason not to make aliyah:
10. Concern about the noise of IAF flyovers. (I swear I am NOT making this up.) I’m afraid I have no response.
I know there are people who will read this and think, “But I still don’t want to go. I like Israel, but not as much as where I am living.” Okay. But let’s break it down a bit more.
For those who believe themselves bound to perform mitzvot, this is a biggie. So big, in fact, that it’s the one exception to the laws against writing on Shabbat, allowing a Jew to instruct a non-Jew to write in order to purchase property in Israel.
Another blogger (I can’t remember which one; chime in if it was you, and give a link to your post) once wrote about why more people don’t make aliyah. For every reason listed, she determined that fear was at the root of the reason. This is compelling. Even the excuse of inertia, for people who would like to come here to live but never seem to think it’s the right time, is a form of fear. Some reason that their finances are not in order, or that the kids aren’t the right ages, or their career is just taking off. These, when examined closely, often boil down to a type of fear.
The Cap’n and I took years to come to the decision to make aliyah. We had many of the excuses others have, plus perhaps a few more. But we also had a strong desire to live here. It was only after a Kol Nidrei d’var Torah given by a friend that we reframed our thinking. He defined timhon levav in the liturgy as refraining from doing that which one knows to be right because it is easier to stick to the status quo. When we heard that, we realized that the time had come to look into aliyah seriously. The following Yom Kippur, we were in Israel.
I need hardly say that Israel is special. As I’ve said many times, Israel may not be the only place for Jews to live, but in my opinion, it is by far the best place for them to live. Israel is by, for, and about the Jews. Nowhere else is. It is flawed in many ways, and one of the best ways I can think of to find solutions to those flaws is to have bright, principled, well-educated Western technocrats come and build, develop, and improve the country.
When I look at my life in the context of the rest of the world, I felt my existence in America to be very small and inconsequential. Outside my immediate circle of friends and community, my life made very little difference at all. Here, however, an individual can rise to make a tremendous difference, both to the country and to the Jewish world in general. To be part of it is to be part of one of the greatest experiments in Jewish history. The last time Jews returned to Israel in any numbers from an exile was the return from Babylon in 536 BCE. Even then, after only 50 years of exile, people were comfortable, established, and totally unmotivated to return to the land where only a half-century earlier the Jews had wept to leave. Now, after nearly 2000 years of some of the most dolorous years in Jewish history, and some of the most shameful years in human existence, to have this land to return to is (to my eyes) clearly the work of Hashem. Some might smile and say “thank you” politely, but decline the gift. To me, though, the right thing seems to me to accept the gift and cherish it.
It is true that coming as adults (as opposed to kids, or young singles), we are limited in some ways in our ability to fully integrate as Israelis. I can converse in the language, but have few Israeli friends. But I have a wonderful English-speaking community which feels blessed to live here, and I feel very much a part of society here despite my own limitations. Our children, however, are one of the main reasons we came here to live, and they feel very much Israeli. While we are instilling in them the manners and values of Western society, they are fluent in Hebrew, have Israeli friends, and have few memories of America. They will be the first generation of true Israelis in the family.
Like the old man who planted a carob tree knowing he would not live to see it bear fruit, we have brought our children here to bloom in their own lifetimes.
Great post!
My “favorite” ridiculous excuse is there are no normal schools and communities in Israel [sic]…
Finding a job would be my main concern.
[…] Read the entire Blog Post including the top 10 stupid reasons not to make Aliyah […]
Mrs. S: Thanks for the compliment. How does someone respond to something as bizarre as that?
Ilana-Davita: A teacher of English (and French) would have no difficulty finding a job, especially one as experienced as you are.
[…] Shimshonit lists the Top 10 stupid reasons not to make aliyah […]
I’m not convinced, Shimhonit:
re 1. Parnasah – where I live(Northern Europe) they have an eruv, jewish schools(pre-, primary & secondary), jewish summer camps(B’nei Akiva), kosher food(but the shop takes half an hour to get to, so stock up once a week), several shuls(with dues based on income), jewish & Israëli events(a lot of yoredim & Israëli ex-pats live here), 3 mikvaot. Compared to tuïtion standards here, Israeli schools are not as good(there’s a crisis in the Israeli education system, it’s been deteriorating for years), the diplomas from institutions here give easier access to a large economy & job market. Most Israëlis live in the main population centers of Jerusalem and Tel Aviv, you have to deal with the prize of renting/buying there if you make Aliyah, which is higher than here. There’s child allowance here, there’s well paid work here(lower unemployment than in Israël) so you can afford the house and the number of kids you choose. Hashem smiles on you in diaspora too :-).
re 2. The rabbinates(there are 2 – 1 sfarad, 1 askenaz) here are as power hungry, narrow minded and money oriented as in Israël. Converts have a hard time. But the rabbinate here has no say over your life here if you do not want them to, unlike in Israël. Civil marriage, civil burial is available if you don’t want the services of the rabbanut or the chevra kadisha. you are FREE to take your own responsiblity as a jew, not forced.
re 3. Hebrew – We get Ivrit in our jewish schools. We learn & use biblical Hebrew in shul. We are multi-lingual, unlike Israëlis.
re 4. Fear of terrorism – despite the ‘gobal jihad’ from our muslim ‘friends’ it is quiet here, crime is low, traffic is safe. The awful stories about violent incidents – whether terrorist related or car accidents – that make it out of Israel are real and bother many Israëlis. Life expectancy in Israel is lower than it is here, health is better here. Less stress(‘kotzim be tachat’) here than in Israël, more peace(of mind).
re 5. IDF service – gan jeledim and tsahal are some of the great social foundations in the life of an Israeli? Depends on what social skills you prefer. Boys become men here too(and girls women) without army service(and are less violent & agressive because of it), friendships are formed in school here too, skills are learned here too. And you can make a career without being asked about your army record. You don’t get scarred possibly for life by 3 years service(and regular call ups for men afterwards for the rest of your adult life) at age 18. There’s life outside the army. There’s peace here so our army goes overseas to keep the peace and participate in humanitarian missions.
re 6. Israel’s hostile neighborhood – Israel doesn’t enjoy peaceful relations with many nations in the Middle East, Egypt and Jordan are not real favourite destinations for Israëlis, with the Sinaï being the possible exception. If you can afford beach holidays in Cyprus, Turkey, other mediterranean countries, European countries you can do so as quickly from here as from Israël. Israel has Eilat on the Red Sea and Netanya, Nehariah on the mediterranean coast, but they are 2nd choice to the ‘exotic’ other mediterranean destinations.
re 8. No Sunday – no Israëli weekend, you get off work at 3 p.m. on friday and go back to work on sunday at 9 a.m.. You get 24 hours of shabbat instead. Don’t drive through a religious neigbourhood though, don’t expect to be able to use public transport, don’t expect to be able to shop at your neigbourhood store(malls are open though). Over here, everything is 12/6(not 24/7) with some places open on sundays. Relaxing.
re 9. Spending a year in Israel may convince you not to go live there. You may not like Israëli culture(rough), Israëli politics(corrupt), Israëli salaries(low), the climate(unbearably hot summers), religious coercion(go ask for a marriage license) or find the place inward looking, parchochial, chauvinistic and with a bunker mentality. If you’re looking for your basherte(soulmate) you can find him/her anywhere, America and Northern Europe have large jewish population centres. Hashem is everywhere leading you on the right path.
re 10. IAF flyovers – shtu’yot. You may be flying one of those jets on a mission, yes.
My experiences in Israël have taught me that it is a country that is not easy to live in for an Oleh from a western country, if you do it, it is is for ideological(Zionism) or religious reasons. Most jews here are neither very strongly, they are liberal, tolerant and well integrated.
Israel is special, yes, but not as the only place for Jews to live, in my opinion, let alone the ‘best’ place for them to live. Israel is by, for, and about the jews, exclusively. Nowhere else that is so. Its strengths & flaws stem from that, predominantly. Arab mentality doesn’t help either.
Finding solutions to Israël’s flaws by importing bright, principled, well-educated western technocrats(‘yekkes’) who come and build, develop, and improve the country, is something no Israëli will come up with. They prefer their own solutions, Olim should adapt to them.
I tried to give a bit of balance to your 10 points, Shimsonit. There’s more but you get the picture, probably.
I wish you behatzlacha with your life in Israël, Shimshonit, it may be for you, but it’s not for every jew.
Peter: I welcome your counter-perspective. You give many good reasons for staying where you are, and certainly paint a peaceful, calm picture of life outside Israel. There were many things I enjoyed about living in a more polite society, with temperate climate and more peaceful neighbors (politically speaking).
I am a religious Jew who came here not for the comfort, or the safety, or the friendly “neighborhood.” Those are things I am willing to live with because I believe Hashem’s agency partly responsible for returning this land to the Jews, and I believe that if we really want Israel to exist—as a haven for Jews under threat, or as a touchstone for Jewish identity, or as a restored Commonwealth where Jewish holy sites are once again in Jewish hands, where we can again walk in the footsteps of our ancestors—as many of us must live here as can bring themselves to do so. Praying for something for nearly 2000 years, getting it, and then ignoring it, doesn’t make a lot of religious sense to me. I also find refreshing that being Jewish here is a given, rather than an anomaly.
Your overall view of Israel seems negative, which I can understand. Westerners can be very sensitive to the ways of Israelis and feel uncomfortable. (I often am.) But I refuse to be daunted by it, and have seen that progress has already been made in improving manners and customer service in Israel, probably due in no small measure to the influence of Western aliyah and our kinder, gentler demeanor.
An area in which your impression of Israelis is mistaken is in that of multi-lingualism. Most Israelis are also multilingual. They learn English and Arabic in school, and many come from homes where other languages (Farsi, Spanish, French, German, Amharic, Russian, and others) are spoken.
While I have traveled for months in Europe (all over) and always enjoy it and the overall quality of the people I meet there, I must also note that in recent years, Europe’s Muslim population has grown, and the Jew-friendliness of Europe in general diminishes as it does, according to news reports and many of my European friends. I would also point out that Jews in Germany before 1933 were liberal, tolerant, and well integrated. Or so they thought. I make no predictions about what will happen in Europe in the future, but the signs don’t look good to me. I’d rather be where I am, with all its flaws, than where you are.
Thanks for taking the time to comment, and Shana Tova.
@Shimshonit:
Thank you for giving your insights in why you made Aliyah.
You define yourself as being religious, I would define myself as traditional, religion only being a part of my jewish identity, not the dominant one, though I keep the mitzwot. You say that you find it refreshing that being Jewish in Israël is a given, rather than an anomaly. That’s one way of looking at it. I found, surprisingly, that when moving through Israëli society the fact that the all the people you meet are jewish becomes a non-issue, irrelevant. People in daily life perform the things they do everywhere. You find yourself in a middle eastern country where the majority of the people happen to be jewish, but it’s nothing special anymore and they’re not pre-occupied with it – orthodox/dati people being the exception.
The fact that in Israël religion is political(no separation between religion & state) makes for many problems in todays Israël. I find it somewhat painful to see that certain ethnic or religious groups are treated differently then the average citizen. The rioting that goes on about shabbat, about having gay parades or not, blocking streets on shabbat, picketing stores that sell things that are ‘unacceptable’ or their opening times are signs that certain groups want to monopolize the public space. Instead of the cherished tolerance, peace & calm that I’m accustomed to.
I stand corrected by you on the multilingualism of Israëlis. However, as is my experience(you being different in learning your kids English too at home besides Ivrit), immigrant parents don’t usuallly pass the language of their original country on to their children. I spent time with a sfardi family from Marocco that had learned Arabic & French at school there, still spoke it well, but didn’t pas it on to their children. A pity really. Whether other languages (Farsi, Spanish, German, Amharic, Russian, and others) will be transferred to the next generation I do not know. I only know that in the street I was at a loss without Ivrit, people didn’t speak much else. Yes, Israëli kids learn English and Arabic in school, but very little seems to ‘stick’ in their minds since they don’t speak it a lot(or see tv from those countries).
The Israëli popular culture doesn’t appeal to me much, it’s a mix between the middle east and a knock off from American culture. In Europe we get that too, but we have a strong own historical living tradition & culture. That gives more balance.
Finally your remark on Europe’s Muslim population and the Jew-friendliness of Europe in general diminishing, according to news reports and many of your European friends is something I hear often these days(particularly about France) but haven’t experienced myself. But then we don’t walk through a muslim area of town with a kipah on, you cover it with a cap or hat. Women with muslim headscarves, men in jellabias(gowns) are commonplace in the city. There are regular debates on religious symbols in public, whether they should be allowed to be worn by public servants. But we keep out of it, wisely. That jews in Germany before 1933 were liberal, tolerant, and well integrated is true and a ‘touché’ remark by you. As yet we don’t have anything like the anti-semitism that reared its ugly head then and I’m fairly confident we won’t have it in the future. But Israël’s jews are also under treat and by developments that are somewhat more imminent, from within(left-right, secular-religious divides) and without(the Palestinian/arab issue).
I’m happy for you that you live where you feel best, I don’t rule out that I’ll give Israël another chance to win my heart – so to speak :-) – but my last experiences where not too good. I regularly felt, like you said, uncomfortable with the behaviour and displayed(lack of) values of Israëlis. But my skin can grow, maybe.
Shanah Tovah to you & your loved ones.
[…] a private list of reasons for making Aliyah. Some I found on the net, like this one, this one, and this one. I added to my list from listening to INR, and still others on the list I came up with myself. […]