Help wanted

As part of my job search, I subscribe to a listing of jobs around the country called Israemploy.  It puts out a daily digest of positions to be filled which I usually scan quickly, then delete.  But today, for some reason, many of them caught my eye.

First there was the group of “been there, still doing that” jobs: Cook, Baker, Dishwasher, Kitchen worker, and General worker.  Not interesting.

Then there were the “What on earth is that?” jobs:

Nail builder.  Does this mean a manicurist, a maker of nails, or one who builds structures using nails?

Flash designer.  Tell me this isn’t someone who designs clothing for exhibitionists.

Law student.  Who knew that just going to law school was a career?  Does this mean that graduating involves a career change?

Kindergarten nanny.  I’ve heard of kindergarten teachers, and I’ve heard of nannies, but not kindergarten nannies.  Is that like Mary Poppins with a degree in early childhood education rather than a smartly dressed woman with a sharp tongue and a vain disposition?

Sushi person.  To make sushi?  To sell sushi?  To eat sushi?  To be a naked woman on whom sushi is sometimes served?  If someone who likes people is a “people person,” is someone who loves sushi a “sushi person?”  That would be me.

Salary controller.  This sounds promising, especially if I get to control my own salary.

If I wanted to work outdoors, there are a few options.

Beehive worker.  I assume this is to do with the collectors of honey rather than the stylers of hair.

Worker for a sheep pen (South).  Southern Israel, or South Australia?  Building the pen, or just mucking it out?  Never mind.

Agricultural worker – Seasonal.  This is up in Binyamina where I’m not sure what they’re harvesting.  Apples?  Pomegranates?  Pears?  Would I be working with Arabs?  Other Jews?  Leggy Swedes enjoying a few sunny months on kibbutz?

Perhaps the most boring would be Blow dryer, Hair drying assistant (presumably to assist the Blow dryer), and my favorite Hebrewism, “Hair wash fanist.”  (“Fan” is Hebrew for a hair drying appliance.)  Just think: I could stand around all day, getting varicose veins, watching hair dry.

Think I’ll keep looking.

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